The #1 Dating Mistake People Make
If there’s one dating mistake I see more than anything else, across clients, ages, and relationship histories, it’s this: people settle for someone with major red flags because they’re afraid they won’t find someone better. Even when the signs show up early, it’s incredibly common to override your instincts because you want the connection to work. You want to give someone a fair chance and believe this could be the start of something meaningful.
Most of the time, the red flags show up right away. Maybe they cancel plans at the last minute or make subtle comments that leave you feeling a little smaller than before. Maybe your stomach tightens when you’re with them, or something about the relationship feels slightly off—nothing dramatic, nothing you can easily put into words, just a quiet discomfort that lingers. But instead of walking away, you give them another chance. And then another. By the time you realize the pattern isn’t changing, your emotions have already gotten involved. At that point, leaving doesn’t just feel hard; it feels heartbreaking, confusing, and unfair.
Why is this such a big mistake?
Because you deserve better! You are not “too much,” “too sensitive,” or “too hard to love.” You are perfect for the right person.
When you settle for someone who shows you early red flags, you send yourself the message that your needs don’t matter or that having a partner is more important than the quality of the relationship. But you don’t have to shrink yourself, silence your intuition, or bend your standards to fit someone who was never aligned with you in the first place. You deserve a relationship where you feel safe, wanted, and respected—without having to convince someone to treat you well.
Why do we do this?
People rarely settle because they’re unaware of the red flags. More often, they settle because they’re afraid. Afraid of being alone, afraid of starting over, afraid this might be “as good as it gets,” and afraid to walk away after already investing so much time and hope. When you mix that fear with the early chemistry that often shows up in these relationships, it becomes easy to stay attached to potential rather than reality.
How counseling can help
Counseling gives you a space to sort through the confusion that happens when your feelings and your fears collide. It helps you reconnect with your intuition, understand your patterns, and identify the subtle ways you override your own needs. Many clients tell me that therapy helps them see the difference between healthy connection and emotional intensity—and that alone can change everything. Counseling offers clarity, confidence, and support so you don’t have to navigate these decisions alone.
The Courage to Leave the Wrong One
If you want the right relationship, you have to be willing to let go of the wrong one, even when it hurts, even when it’s hard, and even when a part of you wishes things could be different. This isn’t about judging past choices. It’s about trusting that you are meant for something healthier, safer, and more aligned than anything you’ve had to talk yourself into.
Ready to feel more confident in your dating decisions?
If you’re struggling with red flags, feeling unsure about your intuition, or finding yourself staying in relationships longer than you should, you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Schedule a free consultation call with us, and let’s talk about what’s been happening and how we can support you in choosing relationships that truly fit you.